In America we’re poised for another Thanksgiving holiday, a day set aside to give thanks for whatever in our lives has us feeling grateful. When study after study links a grateful attitude to a longer and happier life, healthy relationships, a stronger self-esteem and sense of hopefulness, combined with a lower risk of depression, high blood pressure and heart disease, why on earth wouldn’t we want to feel thankful 365 days a year? Well, at least more often than a designated holiday! What if you did just two or three things to bring that sense of gratitude to your career – to your life?
Everything ends
It may seem odd, but research shows that focusing on the end of a happy experience helps you enjoy and value the moment even more. If something makes you really happy – a hug from your child, a professional or civic award – remind yourself that this is a special moment; it may not come again. Then savor every bit of it.
Shared spirit
It’s a commonly held belief that keeping an attitude of gratitude journal can remind us of all we have to be thankful for. I often use this technique with clients who are in career transition; it’s empowering. What if you took it a step further? What if you shared your gratitude with others? Our bodies are programmed to mirror back the emotions of those around us. Think about smiling. When we smile at others, they usually smile back. Contagious! Three great websites for sharing what makes you happy are ThankfulFor.com, Thanks-O-Meter.com and TheGratitudeList.com. If an online site’s not your thing, do it the old-fashioned way. Just tell someone what you appreciate!
Bad stuff good
It’s usually natural to feel thankful for something good in our lives: loved ones, a promotion or raise. But research again says that we actually learn more from tough experiences than from easy ones. Your hours and salary were cut. Is there a silver lining? Will you have more time with your spouse and children? Will you now have that window of opportunity to take that computer class? Studies show that the ability to balance the bad with the good is the number-one factor for happiness!
Almost didn’t but did
The other day, I was thinking about a 10-year period when I provided support as an independent contractor to a 14-county emergency medical services council. It was a second “job” I took on, along with my private practice. It was an amazing experience and a very nice supplemental income. It would never have happened had I not gone to a party one night, and met the woman who was its executive director and my future supervisor. It would not have happened had I not gone to a party I really did not want to go to. I try to end each day thinking about one thing that may have occurred that day unexpectedly – getting a call from a friend not seen for awhile; finding a bargain price for something I wanted anyway. It’s really a mood booster.
Doing just because
Certainly doing a good deed makes you feel good. Doing a good deed when it’s unexpected gives you an even bigger rush. One study showed that people who gave anonymously to charity or donated without being asked, reported strong feelings of self-appreciation. My friend recently told me that she was standing in a retail line at the checkout; she was harried after a long workday. The cashier motioned for her to step down two aisles, smiling and mouthing “they can help you”. She hadn’t seen it. It had her out of there in 5 minutes versus 25. She then found the name of the CEO, and sent an email to him praising this cashier. “It felt really good,” she told me.
Nothing happens overnight. Feelings certainly don’t change that fast. In fact, it’s well known that Thanksgiving and other holidays often create more stress. But integrating just one of the things above will certainly bring that feeling of thanks to the surface. What’s to lose?
Photo: Ben Fredricson(xjrlokix)
