Tom was a client who engaged my coaching services earlier this year. His position had been eliminated after an organizational corporate restructure. With a a small nest-egg, his financial burden was eased somewhat. He knew what he wanted. We began coaching around strategies and action planning. A red flag waved when we hit upon assembling a support team of champions.
Here’s what was bothering Tom. He was a single guy who lived with his father. All was fine in this setup, except for the fact that Tom’s dad was applying his own perceptions and judgments to Tom’s job situation. And the effect was negative. His dad thought Tom should “just get a job; so and so is hiring.” “In my day, we were just happy to have work.”
Well, Tom’s goal was to land a CPA role in public accounting. The jobs his father mentioned weren’t even close. He had the experience, credentials and skill sets for his target positions. He was willing to relocate. He had to find the opportunities and market to them. His dad’s advice was a distraction he did not need. He also felt his dad might be (perhaps subconsciously) saying these things to keep him close to home. To make matters worse, he was getting the same from several friends. “Just go for this job; you could do it in your sleep.” “If you wait too long and your funds dry up, then where will you be?”
Tom needed to detach the naysayers and distracters, and to surround himself with those who would be advocates in his job search. Here’s what he did:
He distanced himself from those friends negatively impacting his search.
He did so politely, saying “I really need to focus on my search—a job in itself.” I will definitely be back in touch once I’ve achieved momentum.” And he had a heart-to-heart with his dad, explaining that he loved him dearly, respected him, but in this case, his dad needed to give him space to pursue the job search in his own way. Tom was quite amazed; his dad said, “No problem” and backed off.
He got to work gathering a support team. It was strategically a mixed bag.
- Two accountability partners. He chose his neighbor Mary, because she was a great cheerleader. She would be a reliable reminder in “You can do it!” He also chose his Uncle George, an ex-Army officer. George had a “cut to the chase” style; he would keep Tom on task.
- Two colleagues who were well connected in the CPA/Public Accounting niche through face-to-face and online networking. These were all people he had worked with and knew quite well. He also had an expanding list of networking contacts; these two were specifically asked to be champions on his support team.
- An outplacement job support group through his employer. The group met weekly. The group enabled Tom to meet others and expand his network, tell his story succinctly (practicing elevator speeches and pitches), get new ideas for job search strategies, and help others—which made him feel quite simply, good! He was careful to not use this as a place to bemoan how hard his week had been (and let’s face it; sometimes there will be the rough patches). This was just not the right setting for that.
- A trusted confidante. Tom selected his girlfriend, Jeanne. With pre-discussion around parameters, here’s where he garnered support when he needed to vent. Their relationship was already one where they supported each other in good times and bad. She refrained from being judgmental, from giving advice. She listened and let him debrief; and work through his challenges.
- A professional career coach. Here’s where I came into the picture. Tom sought my help in supporting his fast-forward progress. I served as a catalyst, resource, strategist, collaborator, cheerleader, accountability partner—a person with objectivity and experience in this realm of job search campaigns.
In approaching his team (excluding the job support group and myself), Tom’s message varied slightly depending on their relationship and expected role. But it went something like this:
“Mary (etc.), I respect your opinion. Because of that, I wanted to share with you some career plans that I’m excited about. I’m focusing my next move on a CPA position within the public sector—consistent with what I’ve been doing. To help keep me on track, I’m putting together a team of a few key people whom I can meet with weekly and separately, either by phone or for a cup of coffee—my treat of course! At our meetings, I’d report my progress for the past week and share what I plan to do in the coming week. I thought of you because you’re focused and goal-driven (or action oriented, upbeat, strategical, etc.).
I know that your time is valuable; we would keep the meetings short and at a place and time convenient for you. I would also want to pay it forward. I want you to be thinking of how I could help you. Is this all something you feel comfortable doing?”
Once he had his team’s commitment, he was true to his word; he was respectful of each person’s time. He was also careful not to count on any one person for too many answers or too much emotional support. He remembered to give back. He gave one (a boat enthusiast), a book on a related topic, another a referral, another a bottle of good wine, and so on.
To navigate through a period that encompassed grieving (he had really loved his former position) and stress (what, when and where would the next one be?), Tom surrounded himself with a support team of people who could help him stay motivated and on track, give him honest feedback, and assist him in reassessing his strategies and planning. When he accepted an offer three months later to join a CPA firm within 45 minutes of where he currently lived—for more money and better benefits—his team was there to celebrate with him!
The job search is not an isolated event. It happens through people connections. It is a team activity—from champions in the job seeker’s corner from the get-go, to those with his next employer, welcoming him. If you are in a job search, don’t do it alone. People feel good about helping other people!
