In my last post, I spoke of starting early conversations with reconnection or bone marrow people in your job search. I like to call these first-level conversations for two reasons.
- These conversations are with people you feel comfortable with already.
- The conversations are to find information and support, not self-promotion. That will come later, although you will get to practice telling your story to get comfortable with it all.
Clients often asked me why this is important. Why not just cut to the chase and get out there selling one’s self.
So, is this worth your time? Yes! What are some of the benefits of pacing yourself to have these first-level conversations for just a few weeks earlier in your search?
The Whys
- You can share your positioning statement or “why I’m on the hunt” story. If you are entering the search with any negative emotion, you get to practice with these folks until the negativity is flushed out. And if you don’t feel negative, you still get to practice before you get in front of decision-makers!
- You will receive ideas and advice on job search from those who have been there, or can speak from an insider’s perspective. You can share your own plan, and get feedback. That feedback, if positive, should enhance your confidence and fuel action as you move forward.
- You should get primarily support from these folks and very little resistance or push-back.
- You should be able to start collecting contact information for your introductions to people at the next level of networking. And along the way, you continue articulating what you need and want, practicing answering questions posed to you, and collecting valuable information and contacts.
One word of caution though. There will always be those naysayers who are easy to approach, but will rain on your parade. “Take something right away, even if it’s not quite what you want.” “You need to be practical.” “That’s a tough field.” There will be those people who have had their own negative experiences they still wear on their sleeves. Take what they say, acknowledge it, and move on. But strategically think about talking to people who have potentially helpful information or contacts. Your reality check comes later. For now, you want bone marrow people!
The Hows
It should feel comfortable to contact these folks. If not, they may be the next level of contacts. You pick up the phone and call those you know; and you ask them about what they know best – their own world of work. “Hi Bob, it’s me. Would you be up for a cup of coffee on me sometime this week?” And you make it clear that you just want to have a brief conversation. You are not asking for a resume review, interview tips, and not a job. In fact, it shouldn’t matter how you start the dialogue with these folks. “Mary, I know you’ll bear with me as I muddle through sharing my current situation and why I need your help.”
Do have at least some agenda or plan on what you’re going to ask your friend, Mary or your former colleague, Jim. You want this to be a productive conversation versus only chit chat. Cover what you need right away. “Can I pick your brain?” is a good way to start. And take notes! It might go something like this:
- Synopsis. Paul, I would so appreciate it if you could help me a bit with my job search today. I don’t expect you to find me a job or even close. I’d love to get some feedback and hear any ideas you may have .
- Exit Statement. If you don’t mind, may I tell you first why I’m currently in a job search? And would you please share how it sounds to you?
- Brand & Strengths. Great! That’s helpful; thanks! I also am inventorying my brand and skills. What would you say my strongest selling points are in terms of hard skills, soft skills, and character?
- Metrics. Is there anything you can think of from our working together that you would call a success story? [Or if you haven’t worked with this person, try out a story]. How does this success story sound to you as one of my accomplishments?
- People Connection. That is great advice, Paul! Your feedback has been so helpful. As I said, I want to start reaching out to people in my search. Based on our conversation today, who do you think I should be talking to?
- Industry or Company Direction. Paul, do you know anyone who works at ABC Company? [or] Paul, do you know anyone who works in software development?
- Magic Finale Question. Who else should I be talking to?
- Post Conversation Plan. I can’t thank you enough for these names. I’m not rushing into talking to them just yet. I’m going to ask a favor, a big one, I know. Would you be willing to contact these three folks in a week or two—at my reminder of course, to see if they would be willing to talk to me?
The Musts
These first-level conversations can mean all the difference in how fast you land; and how you land in a good fit. Everyone—emerging star or accomplished c-level, needs these bone marrow people to talk to. These conversations help you move forward with names and connections, a well-honed story and statement, confidence, a clear picture for what those next-level conversations will look like.
And this is important. Be respectful. Mind their time. Arrive promptly and keep the discussion to the agreed-upon timeframe. Be well prepared with what you will say and what you will ask. And remember to thank these first-level people. Job seekers are often well meaning but let these follow-up courtesies fall through the cracks, because it was a more casual connection. Send a thank-you note. Send an email to expedite it. Follow up with a hand-written thank-you note. Letting someone know that they helped you often makes them feel even more willing to assist you moving forward. An unexpected note of appreciation can really make someone’s day.
Don’t stop there. Become known as someone who does what they say they will do. To be really effective, networking is a mutually beneficial relationship. Consider how you can help these friends, family and current and former colleagues. It’s not always about you. You may have connections that would help your contacts. There may be a link to an interesting article or event you’d like share. It really does take a village. Asking for help and giving back can be a domino effect that takes your search and career in a whole new direction.
Photo: Jason Mrachina
