#3 focus killer on job-search and career management

This is the last of a 3-part series on what I feel are the top three focus killers in job search, career and life management. If you missed the preceding posts on other focus killers – stress and multitasking – here they are.

I have too many balls in the air!

#3 Focus Killer: You’re juggling too many balls in the air

Many of us have at one time or another – sometimes more regularly than is comfortable – felt that we have way too many balls in the air.

Sometimes things slip through the cracks simply because there’s no way you could summon enough energy and focus to do it all. My client Beth faced this challenge. In one of our coaching sessions, she described an absentmindedness that had recently crept over her; and a messy living space that was driving her crazy and making it very tough to do her job –which happened to be her job search.

I asked a friend of mine who is a psychologist and time management / efficiency expert, about this issue. She said that absentmindedness and messiness can have varied causes. She noted that messiness is often about priorities. She gave an example. You’re faced with the to-do of decluttering and cleaning your home. But you’d really rather get out for a walk and some fresh air. Or maybe you’re just too tired to clean, having worked late on a project the night before. But she pointed out that often it may because there are too many things on your plate. You’ve got too many balls in the air. You’re saying yes, yes, yes to everything. It’s just tough to do it all sometimes.

When I later questioned Beth further, she said that she certainly did have a lot on her plate. She said she has trouble saying no when someone needs her help.  As a mom, she keeps track of her children’s tasks as well as her own. Her expectations for memory and performance are very high – perhaps unrealistically high. I checked again with my psychologist friend. She said that when there are multiple things we have to keep track of, saying no to things where we have an option becomes critical. Because there are things with which we have no choice. This discerning is  a habit to hone. Even mundane life can challenge us to prioritize what we must do and can say no to. A sample of Beth’s challenge one week:

  • Put in 6 to 8 hours a day on her job search
  • Basketball practice with daughter and  hockey with son – a total of four separate nights
  • Out-of-town guests coming that weekend
  • Help son with science project
  • Clean house
  • Do eight loads of laundry (and ironing)
  • Grocery shop
  • Volunteer at hospital one morning
  • Reconcile the bank statement
  • Study chapters and write a paper for class  chapters for class at local community college

She was really all over the map – headed for exhaustion

Juggling 101

As with most things, no magic bullets here. Beth and I coached around the perspective of her honing a new skill – juggling with polish! A new skill is developed through a shift in thinking, brainstorming, practice and support to make behavior changes.

Your reward from this juggling with polish will be more empowerment. And also as with most things, it takes effort. Taking my cue from what got Beth on the right track, here’s a 4-phase crash outline to get you started. Forgive the preachy tone; I’m laying it out in tough-love format; the rest to be filled in and fleshed out by you.

#1 Create your climate for positive change. Make self-care a priority (sleep, exercise, healthy eating, honest and open communication). If you don’t, will you honestly have the energy or concentration to tackle the physical and emotional commitments in your life?

#2 Get honest and clear about where you spend your time and what areas of your life are not in balance. A great assessment to use is The Circle of Life. Take a piece of paper and draw a big circle in the middle. Divide the circle into eight equal parts. Label the tip of each dividing lines: Relationships, Health/Well-Being, Finances, Career/Work, Personal Growth, Socialization, Creativity, and Recreation.

Now, ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being completely dissatisfied and 10 being completely satisfied), how you would rate each part of your life? The circle’s center represents zero and the outer edge a 10. Mark each line to reflect your conclusions. Then connect the dots and you will find your circle is misshapen. This is a straightforward, yet effective way to highlight what needs your attention to achieve greater balance – and focus.

#3 Take baby steps to recapture balance. Health and wellness not what you’d want? Start drinking 8 glasses of water a day and cut out the soda. Or plan a week’s worth of menus, with a grocery list that only includes those items. Finances got you down? Set aside time to meet with a financial planner. Or get together with your spouse to plan a budget. Or simply take a day to clean out and organize financial records. Feeling stagnated with “no me” time? Set aside time (on your calendar) for a good book, a chat with friends, a bubble bath – whatever makes you feel good. In a nutshell, create the life you want bit by bit.

#4 Find champions. Tell your family and friends what you are doing. Surround yourself with those who empathize and support you. There is power in not feeling alone.

Okay. It is definitely a process; no magic bullets reiterated. One does not compartmentalize crazy-focus, messy life immediately. What’s that saying about Rome being built!?  And as you’re getting there – on the road, so to speak – take heart that living life on a Tilt-a-Whirl is neither a failure or flaw. There’s an upside to being a juggler and feeling without focus. Well, honestly, a bit scatterbrained. Sometimes a wandering mind unleashes the creative energies that can bear the fruit of new ideas. That lead to endless possibilities. That can simply give us pleasure.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re not born to be a compulsively neat or type A personality. Maybe you end up doing things in the moment because that’s you. Yes, if you’re feeling uncomfortable with lack of focus to get your priorities in order and accomplished, work on it. But sometimes you may allow yourself to be a spontaneous and life-affirming person. Don’t lose this part of you. Don’t settle. Love it! This isn’t really about balancing your time. It’s about balancing your energy, attention and time still aligned with the unique YOU.

 

Photo: fazen

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